Haha okay, so it is really late, and I am very drunk. I am writing this while squinting on eye shut to see only one screen lol. Tonight we had game night at a friends (beer pong, fuck the dealer, catch phrase, thumper and some zomba zomba game or something...?) and everyone got retarded. We have off tomorrow for a snow day (supposed to get a foot in like 8 hrs.). Regardless it was a good time.
So I was just reading one of the blogs I follow and a part of the post caught my attention and really made me think. The blog is BLANK by BLANK the quote is QUOTE.
The reason this quote makes me think so much is because I normally compare myself to what society thinks this type of person is or society thinks that this type of person is this. So I kind of take on societies view of gays, which I believe to be generally accepting but not necessarily including, and while not hateful somewhat doubtful/disbelieving. So anyway its because if I truly addmittied to myself that I was gay or could love a man it would also mean society would believe I was the gay; therefore I want to fuck every guy, I hit on every guy I can, I want to hear all of the girls gossip, I give really good advice, I drink fruity drinks only, I can't fight, I don't like sports, I like Lady GaGa and I have no body hair, I take it in the pooper and I love orgies. Now one, two or even three of these things might be true, but not all of them. I just feel like society will automatically assume those things about me before even finding anything out about me; before thay even know my name they will think that.
Anyway, thats just what I fear people will think of me and automatically assume before they get to know me and I believe that is the biggest reason why I can not even admit to myself that I could be gay....
Well... I hope I don't sound like a babbling psycho because thats what I think (drunkenly) and thats what I am afraid of. (or so drunk me thinks)
No comments:
Post a Comment