SHITT!~

 I forgot what made me think of all that shit - I even put parts in the last post to fill in after *the ones in caps* lol so I look retared... so here is the quote

 Society in general isnt to fond of gays but we are still living our day to day life.

So this got me thinking of what I believe everyone can automatically assume about me and what they really do. I sometimes feel they can know more about me than they actually do. Like I sometimes think when meeting people they know I am insecure about my weight (despite not being very overweight by anymeans) and insecure about possibly being gay. Everytime my friends make a joke about one of us being gay and its my turn to get the joke I have to remember we joke about all of us the same and they arent joking now because they think im gay. 

(Quote from: My Double Life)

Anyway I hope I made some sense in either of these two posts, if not oh well maybe i should retire from blogging young.

Snow!!

Haha okay, so it is really late, and I am very drunk. I am writing this while squinting on eye shut to see only one screen lol. Tonight we had game night at a friends (beer pong, fuck the dealer, catch phrase, thumper and some zomba zomba game or something...?) and everyone got retarded. We have off tomorrow for a snow day (supposed to get a foot in like 8 hrs.). Regardless it was a good time.

So I was just reading one of the blogs I follow and a part of the post caught my attention and really made me think. The blog is BLANK by BLANK the quote is QUOTE.
The reason this quote makes me think so much is because I normally compare myself to what society thinks this type of person is or society thinks that this type of person is this. So I kind of take on societies view of gays, which I believe to be generally accepting but not necessarily including, and while not hateful somewhat doubtful/disbelieving. So anyway its because if I truly addmittied to myself that I was gay or could love a man it would also mean society would believe I was the gay; therefore I want to fuck every guy, I hit on every guy I can, I want to hear all of the girls gossip, I give really good advice, I drink fruity drinks only, I can't fight, I don't like sports, I like Lady GaGa and I have no body hair, I take it in the pooper and I love orgies. Now one, two or even three of these things might be true, but not all of them. I just feel like society will automatically assume those things about me before even finding anything out about me; before thay even know my name they will think that.

Anyway, thats just what I fear people will think of me and automatically assume before they get to know me and I believe that is the biggest reason why I can not even admit to myself that I could be gay....
Well... I hope I don't sound like a babbling psycho because thats what I think (drunkenly) and thats what I am afraid of. (or so drunk me thinks)